Dear Abby,

This was in my mail yesterday. When I saw the envelope, I immediately knew what it was. A wedding invitation. And then there was just silence in my world.

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And it lasted for a long moment.

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It is not like this was a surprise. I knew that Joan's husband was engaged and planning a wedding in June. I KNEW. But holding the invitation in my hand and being flooded with feelings? I was not prepared. Can you be prepared?

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I really would have preferred to have been left off that list. I know it is a no win situation. It is one of those things that you write to Dear Abby:

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Dear Abby,

My wife died suddenly a year ago. I have found someone else, some would say very quickly, but I am deliriously happy. Do I send a wedding invitation to my deceased wife's best friend?

Signed-

Not Sure in VA

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And how would she answer? If you don't, maybe the BFF will be offended and if you do, you might upset her that you are "moving on" and remarrying. Is there a right answer?

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And there is the male factor - sorry men, you might want to look away cos I am going to be harsh. Men can be oblivious - blindly, selfishly unaware - when they are in what would be seen as an awkward situation. I am happy - I have fallen in love and nothing else exists in my world except me and my happiness. Sensitivity? Uh, not so much.

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Stomp stomp stomp

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We aren't going to the wedding and it will be assumed that it is a traveling issue. It is not. I am going to sit this one out. I will send a card and that is all I feel is necessary.

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And then, please be happy but shhhhhhh - be happy quietly. Some of us are still grieving.